Stay within Yourself

Over the last few weeks, I've been thinking a bit about advice my pre-college teacher, Dr. Gene Barban, often gave me when I was studying with him.

As a developing pianist (I'm still developing, or disintegrating!) I often let my emotions about the music, about playing, about being in front of people, etc., take over. That often underminded or even sabataged my efforts at performing. The good work I had put into preparing would get mangled by my attitude when it came time to perform. To keep me focused on the essentials of the task at hand, Dr. Barban would tell me to stay within myself.

The advice is still very good for me today. My desire to express, to impress, and so forth, can still rob my playing of security, clarity, and even it's fullest meaning.

I'm starting to see that this lesson from music can and should be applied to life more much broadly. At work, I should stay within myself. Bad emotions - anger, resentment . . . should not color my work or my relationships. Also, complaining rarely helps. Instead, I should choose to be capable and fulfill my various responsibilities and be grateful for work!

If I deal with many of these sorts of problems internally and keep them from spilling over into the rest of my life, I find I am freed, challenged, and blessed to find a new way to think and a better way to care. There is space to pursue and share interests on my own and in my relationships. I become more grounded and open to joy.

In addition to giving more personal fulfillment, staying within oneself can also save coworkers and family members from spending their time on my problems and allows them to focus on their calling and responsibilities instead. The whole world can run more smoothly when we stay within ourselves in this way.